A refueling apparatus for interconnecting a tanker aircraft (11) with a receiver aircraft in flight comprising a boom (21) joined to said tanker aircraft (11) by means of a mechanical articulation (41) having control means including a central computer station, an inner fuel conduit, a refueling nozzle (27) at its distal end and, and a smart tip assembly comprising a first module (83) having load sensing means, a second module (85) having load alleviation means and a third module (87), joined to the nozzle (27), having a mechanical fuse (99) for allowing the safe separation of tanker and receiver aircraft in the event of overloads. The invention also comprises a method of load alleviation for minimizing the loads on the boom (21).